Over my 44 years of life, I have mostly had a positive self view. When I look in the mirror I see my high school beauty although I have gained around 100 lbs. since those glory days. Yes, I said it. I weigh 100 lbs. more than I did in high school, yet, I still view myself as beautiful. Society, social media and maybe a few whispers here and there from people that don’t know my soul have tried to change my mind but I won’t let them. I will not give my power to others, I refuse. Don’t get me wrong, there are days where the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other are in a constant argument and I have engaged in spewing verbal hate to myself more times than I am proud of. But every time I engaged in this conversation with myself, I came to terms with the fact that it was not me talking. It was voices of bullies I have overheard. I was repeating the standard set by others who are insignificant to me. When I would say these things, I just didn’t believe them and it sounded like a complete stranger was talking. You see, I know myself, I love myself and I believe what I say to myself and you should too.
A few months back, my friend Kelli, my daughter and I were engaged in a deep conversation on the topic of “fat shaming”. I shared with them that these terms such as “fat shaming” and “slut shaming” have never sat right with me. When a person says something to the tune of “I was slut shamed” they are essentially calling themselves a derogatory term and thus joining the so called shaming and if you ask me, self shaming is the worst kind of shaming. Calling yourself a name and then saying others are shaming you for it is basically you agreeing that you are what they say you are. Why give others that power?
Tonight Kelli shared an article with me about 50 Cent responding to people “fat shaming” him after his appearance at the Superbowl. She pointed out that what he said in response was exactly the point I was making during our previous conversation all those months ago. I absolutely love and agree with his response. “Fat shaming only applies when you are ashamed of your fat”(50 Cent, 2022). I was thrilled when I opened Kelli’s message and read his words. Not only did he speak right from my heart (and his, lol), he spoke the truth when he could have fallen victim to these bullies. He is a celebrity from my generation who has lived under a microscope as most celebrities do and understands that only he has the power to let others shame him. You looked great to me 50, and always will!
Take back your power people. Don’t let society or bullies tell you how to feel about yourself. Know yourself, love yourself, and believe what you tell yourself. And if you don’t believe it quite yet, I will say it until you do. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
Please click on the link below to read the entire article that was shared with me.